"Are you Gifford Miller?"


(by mgh)

So I'm sitting in the lobby of the building I work in, just outside the cafeteria, next to a huge colorful wall sculpture named "Moby Dick." I've got two Gifford Miller for Mayor signs taped up behind me, flyers spread out on the bench next to me, and I'm holding a ballot petition.

I am feeling very awkward.

I'm not someone who is comfortable, say, at parties. Or at bars. Basically, anywhere where there are a lot of people and I need to walk up to them and say something. I am more at ease, for example, sitting home and writing a blog entry. Standing in the lobby with my big Gifford signs, I am, to put it mildly, outside my comfort zone.

And it's an interesting experience. It's something new, and it hurts to learn how to do it — by the end of my two-hour vigil my face will hurt from — but there is value in learning new things, in pushing oneself, and value (I think) in getting personally involved in the political world, especially as someone in a field like science, which gets blown by the political winds far more than it blows them. All that's swell, but I'm lucky the lobby is chilly today because I can feel the flopsweat coming on.

Beyond the fear of approaching people and making a fool of myself, there is another problem I have. I feel like a proselytizer. I would not stand in a hallway and try to sell people a religion, or a toothpaste or candybar - how can I be comfortable selling them my politics? Plus, I hate it when petitioners confront me on the sidewalk. I don't want to do it.

So, I take a much more low-key approach than I probably should. I sit in my chair, posters up, flyers beside me. I smile at everyone, I say hello to those who make eye-contact. My friends, of course, come over to talk, and I explain what I'm doing. If anyone else takes a second look, or comes over to read the flyer, or just reads the posters out loud to himself or herself ("Gifford... Miller... for mayor?") I start a conversation ("Have you heard of Giff Miller?").

I get a few interesting reactions. A couple of guys speaking Spanish walk by, look at me, say something, shake their heads and start laughing. An older fellow stops by and I ask if he has heard of Giff Miller, and he gets animated: "Yes, I have, he's my councilman. I would very much like to speak with him. I have a lawsuit against the city that has been going on for years and..." (he walks off, agitated, before I can catch the rest).

A guy I know sees me, sees the sign, smirks, asks "You're running for mayor now?" A woman walks by, slowly, and with great confusion asks "Are... you... Gifford Miller?"

A man tells me he will sign, that Gifford Miller is a good man and he'll vote for him, but it turns out he's a registered Republican (one must be in the party to sign that party's primary petition). Some of his co-workers come over and give me a hard time, joking with him whether they should call security to throw me out: they're all Republicans. But an hour later he comes back with his wife, a registered Democrat, who signs.

Four or five people stop by and have fairly involved political talks with me. It's a good experience. Reading and posting to blogs has actually been of some use: it's given me experience in how to make (and not make) political arguments, and to raise brief direct substantive points. Sometimes.

A surprising number of people are clearly Democrats by nature but refuse to register with the party, because of various grievances. I can relate: I registered last year with no affiliation and had to recently re-register to vote in the primary. If we lived in Kansas or South Carolina I feel we would identify more strongly with the party, but here in deep blue New York City where everyone more or less appreciates tolerance, diversity, and equality, one can see the soft death of party loyalty in action.

In the end, I collect a paltry 16 signatures. I speak to probably another 30 people who are not registered Democrats or, most often, are not citizens (I'd guess that half the campus is non-U.S.-born). But a few hundred people see me sitting there, see the posters, read the name. Maybe I have some effect on them.

And at the end, I feel like I did something. I proved to myself I can step outside the closet as someone with political opinions. I can talk to people and act for a cause without feeling like a proselytizer or vacuum-cleaner salesman. I can't necessarily do it well, but it's a start. And I collected a few signatures, and introduced the name of my candidate to the people I work with.

To answer the woman's question, no, I'm no Gifford Miller - not yet, anyhow. But if stepping out from behind the keyboard is a first step, then I've at least set one foot forward... one clumsy, hesitant, painfully awkward foot forward.

Posted: Wed - July 13, 2005 at 05:04 PM   | Category:     |   |   | |


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